Beyond the Manosphere: A Better Way Forward for Our Boys

Image courtesy of Netflix

This week, I’ve spent time watching Louis Theroux: Inside the Manosphereand reading the Centre for Social Justice’s “Lost Boys: State of the Nation” report. I expected to be shocked—but I wasn’t. What I felt instead was something quieter, yet heavier. At times, I felt deeply saddened. But more than anything, I felt a renewed conviction: We all have a role to play in shaping the next generation of boys.

What I Saw — and What I Recognised

Watching the documentary didn’t feel distant or extreme. In many ways, it felt uncomfortably familiar. Young men were talking about success, discipline, and masculinity—ideas that sound strong on the surface. But underneath, something was missing. What stood out wasn’t anger—it was need. Beneath the confidence, you could sense:

• A desire to be understood

• Questions around identity

• A need for direction

• A search for guidance

This isn’t about criticising boys. It’s about understanding what they’re seeking—and who is helping answer those questions. Then I Read “Lost Boys” — and the Picture Became Clearer. The report put evidence behind what I had seen. It highlights challenges across education, mental health, and employment—but one theme stood out: Many boys are growing up without consistent male influence.

• 2.5 million children in the UK are growing up without a father figure at home

• That’s 1 in 5 children

• Nearly half no longer live with both natural parents by age 14

Those realities matter. But so does this: There are also countless parents—especially dads—showing up every single day, loving, guiding, and investing in their children.And that presence is powerful.

Why This Matters for Every Family

Whether a boy has a strong family around him or not, he is still being shaped by the world beyond it. Online voices are constant. Messages about masculinity are everywhere. They promise:

• Confidence

• Success

• Identity

• Direction

But they don’t always point boys in a healthy direction. So this isn’t just an issue for “other families.” It’s something every parent is navigating.

The Bigger Picture: It Takes More Than One Voice

One thing has become clear: No single influence shapes a boy on its own. Not school. Not social media. Not even home.

The “Lost Boys” report highlights just how complex this picture is. Alongside challenges in education, mental health, and behaviour, it points to a wider pattern—many boys are growing up without consistent guidance and are increasingly shaped by influences beyond the home. Boys benefit most when they are surrounded by consistent, positive voices—at home and beyond it. Because the real question isn’t just, “Who is raising our boys?” It’s also, “What voices are helping shape them—and are they the right ones?”

Where SAMS Fits In

This is where SAMS plays an important role. Not as a replacement for parents or schools—but as a partner alongside them. Because even in strong, supportive families, boys benefit from:

• Additional role models

• Safe spaces to open up

• Encouragement from outside their immediate circle

• Opportunities to grow in confidence and character

Through SAMS, boys experience:

• Coaches who show up consistently

• Conversations that build self-awareness

• Environments that encourage responsibility and belonging

It’s about strengthening what’s already there—not replacing it.

A Better Picture of Masculinity

One thing became clear: If we don’t actively model healthy masculinity, other voices will. So together—parents, mentors, and communities—we show something better:

• Strength with compassion

• Confidence with humility

• Responsibility with purpose

• Emotional honesty without shame

This is what boys need to see—consistently, from multiple people in their lives.

A Call to Action: It Takes All of Us

After everything I’ve watched and read, one thing is clear:

This is shared work. For parents, it’s continuing to show up, guide, and lead. For others, it’s stepping forward to support, coach, and invest. Because not every boy has the same level of support—and even those who do benefit from more voices speaking into their lives.

So the invitation is simple:

• If you’re a parent: keep going—what you do matters more than you know

• If you have capacity: consider stepping in to coach a child through SAMS

• If you’re already involved: thank you—your consistency is making a difference

Because one consistent relationship can help transform a life.

Why I Still Have Hope

We are not losing this generation. We are shaping it—together. And through SAMS, that work is happening every single day—alongside families and schools, supported by volunteers, and strengthened by a wider community.

Now it’s your turn.

👉 Keep showing up
👉 Step forward if you can
👉 Be part of the bigger picture